I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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