i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
