its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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