Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
