Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
