Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
