ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
