PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Randomize
