"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
