so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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