so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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