I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
