Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't turn off my feet"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
