Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
