5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
