There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
