Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
