you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
