found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
