well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't deserve a penis
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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