It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
