matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
