One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
