respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
