3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
