The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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