Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
