he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
