You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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