why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
