i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
