I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
