Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
