Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
