you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
