Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
