Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
