also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
soo... how was my night?
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