The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
As shirtless as possible
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I would fuck him just for his dog
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
