i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
