What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
