am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
