This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
