I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
