Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
