This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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