Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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