Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
