if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
