oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
